Are you recovering from grief after the loss of one of your animals? Do you find your day-to-day life hijacked as grief unexpectedly engulfs you? Maybe you been through this before, but it never gets easy!
Here are a few ideas for recovery.
1 – Admit it! Their loss hit you hard!
Maybe it hit you harder than when you lost one of your (human) relatives.
It’s OK! Truth is, many of our animals have done a superb job sharing unconditional love and providing companionship. Humans could take a few lessons in that area, me included. Give yourself permission to feel the depth of your grief without judgment. Feel the enormous loss. Your grief honors your animal.
2 – Forgive yourself for sending them across the Rainbow Bridge
If you made the decision with love and concern, your animal holds no grudges. They understand now that they’re on the other side. It’s not too late to tell them why you let them go (I recommend not doing it in public, because if you’re like me, you’re gonna cry!).
Speak what’s on your heart and feel their love and understanding, because it’s real.
3 – Find a kindred soul or group to talk with
Maybe you have a great animal lovin’ friend you can talk to. Maybe search for pet loss grief groups through local shelters or rescue groups.
Share how you loved being greeted every day; why they made you laugh when they found a ridiculous sleeping position; how a certain bark/meow/neigh or look communicated so much!
And even share what drove you nuts. Because now you miss it so much. As you remember them, tap into your love. Your love is eternal. Seriously, you get to keep it for eternity. Anchor into that love whenever your grief shows up.
4 – Create a shrine for your pet
Find a place to lovingly collect objects that remind you of them. You’ll feel like they still have a place in your household. And it’s another way of honoring their memory. People include ashes, collars, pictures, favorite toys.
5 – Ask them to visit you
Talk to them. Tell them you want to know they’re OK. Next, look for signs.
I sometimes talk to my animals in spirit saying “Remember when you…?” or “Remember when we…?” It feels so good and I know they’re listening.
Be open to how they show up. They come to us in dreams; jump on our bed and snuggle next to us when we sleep; there’s a bark or meow out of nowhere; or the clicking of nails on a wooden floor; we feel them sitting at our feet; we see a tail from the corner of our eye.
Sometimes you’ll “Just Know” they are with you as you think about them. For instance, when I walk my dogs Newt & Molly in Fort Hunt Park, I feel Tibor and Stella, my dogs in spirit, join us on our walk. It’s wonderful.
It’s not just imagination, it’s real. Enjoy it!
Don’t forget to release your guilt. That’s because the more you release guilt, the easier it is for them to come through. And be willing to move forward from deep grief to sadness and missing them. That helps as well. But please don’t hurry it along. Let it release naturally.
I’d love to help. I can connect you to your animal and let you have a conversation.
And my bestseller, Peace in Passing: Comfort for Loving Humans During Animal Transitions, has helped many people through their grief.
Great advice! Thank you!
Mary Jane
I love that you found this helpful, Mary Jane!
Forgiving yourself for a decision made with love is such an important point, and the reminder that grief can hit harder for an animal than for some human relatives really resonates. The idea of asking them to visit and then staying open to small signs, like a familiar sound or the feeling of them beside you on a walk, feels gentle and realistic rather than forced. I also appreciate the caution not to rush the movement from deep grief toward sadness and missing them, and to let that release happen naturally.
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Admit it and forgive yourself—that’s the part that lingers longest for so many of us. The grief is real, and their love is eternal; asking them to visit through signs like a bark out of nowhere or the click of nails on the floor is such a comforting way to keep that bond alive. Thank you for the reminder to move forward without hurrying it.
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Grief after losing an animal can feel just as heavy as losing a person, so it helps to see it named that way. Admitting the depth of the loss, forgiving yourself for the decision to let them go, and finding people who understand all sound like gentle, practical steps. I especially like the reminder to look for signs and to let the sadness soften in its own time rather than rushing it.
Aion2RiftTimer
This piece captures something a lot of people don’t say out loud: that losing an animal can hurt more than losing a human relative. The point about releasing guilt so they can come through is a gentle way to frame it, and the reminder to let grief move at its own pace feels important, since there’s so much pressure to “get over” loss quickly.
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