Healing & Death:
So the New Year started out…well… not as I had hoped. Back to Buffalo, New York the first weekend of January for a funeral, then off to North Carolina for another funeral, and then saying goodbye to a wonderful dog that had been a feisty and funny companion for 12 years – Mitsubishi, my Siberian Husky – yup, that’s him in the picture at the top.
I’m think I’m supposed to talk about death this month.
Death is inevitable and I believe that people – and dogs – survive as spirits. At times I feel their presence. So why the tears and anguish?
Why I Cry
I cry for the ending of the physical relationship. Without even knowing it, I had dreamed or assumed a future that included my loved ones at school plays, graduations, weddings, births, long walks, a trip to the grocery store or the movies. It felt like I was picked up by fate and thrown into a new life, a new timeline, which was unwanted and unfamiliar to me – a life without that person or pet.
The Need to Heal
We need to heal, to move one. Life asks us to do that – in our own way and own time. We don’t want to forget the person or pet, but we don’t want to permanently live immersed in grief.
One Suggestion – Talk to Them
I’d like to suggest one action I’ve taken that helps me heal – talking to the individual who has passed – talking out loud. Of course, you have to find a private place if you don’t want people to think you’re crazy.
Tell them how much you miss them. Tell them how you wanted them to be there when your kids graduated, got married, etc. Tell them happy birthday on their birthday.
I invite my relatives to family gatherings – holidays, birthday celebrations, graduations – and trust that they show up.
Here’s an example from my own life:
My husband Winston died from a heart attack on a Tuesday morning in July at the age of 45; there was no warning. My kids were just 8 and 10. I remember at some point telling him that just because he died, he was NOT off the hook when it came to parenting Patrick and Andrea – death was no excuse!
Saying it out loud brought me a lot of comfort. In my own way, I had invited Winston to continue parenting from beyond – and I did see some evidence of his positive presence in my children’s lives.
I offer my condolences to those who are grieving.
A Healing Story
This section will feature stories about healing modalities and experiences. I’m going to start with my own experiences. If any of my clients want to provide a story, please contact me and we’ll share your story.
Sandy in Kentucky (name/state has been changed) had decided that although her kidneys were failing, she was not going to start dialysis.
She found me online and emailed me about helping with her failing kidneys. She was in hospice care. She hoped to have a physical healing but was willing to let life take its course.
We worked together on many issues: physical, emotional and spiritual.
Although we did not succeed in a physical healing, we did see some wonderful changes in her family.
Early on, my mother and her father (both had passed away) came to her in a dream and at the beginning of each session, we invited them to participate. This was very comforting to both of us; I’m sure they were there when she passed.
Sandy’s mom (she is alive) traveled a long way to be with Sandy, her sister and her sister’s daughter. Yet she was always yelling and had always been an angry mother.
Sandy and I did a meditation that connected the heart energy of each member of her family, moving that energy in a circle around the family’s hearts. We continued to hold this picture in our minds in each session.
Sandy reported that her mother stopped yelling, the household calmed down and became peaceful. This was the energy in the house when she passed away.
Sandy taught me that there are many ways for healing to manifest.