Have you ever heard your animal say, “Did you really just say that??!!” Probably not, but maybe they should…

But why not just say that thing we believe about them?

I’m not suggesting your beloved companions understand you completely, like an adult human (although sometimes they do). Read this great article, Your dog can understand you better than you think, new study shows. 

Even if they don’t understand your words, they absolutely feel and absorb the emotional content of what you’re saying, good or bad. Here are a few examples.

Case 1:

When the human of a very barky dog yelled, “Shut up!” at the top of his voice, I felt the barking dog’s hurt and fear.

My take: The energy of anger came across as strongly as a physical punch for that pup. Fear isn’t a great teacher when we desire a close relationship. Try shaking off the emotion off and, when you’re calm, apologize. Nobody’s perfect. Then look for another way to address the barking. See my story about Stella.

Case 2: While a family cat was alive, the human routinely told people the cat was dumb. The cat came through a psychic to tell him, “I’m not stupid.”

My take: Their cat just processed the world differently from other cats that lived with them. I’ve started using the term neurodivergent about some cats and dogs I’ve worked with. Because I’m beginning to think it applies to non-humans, too.

How about just saying compassionate and respectful words?

Try practicing compassion and respect when talking to or about your animal. Takes patience, but it’s worth it. They will love you for it – even while you are helping them live more gracefully with people.

Saying compassionate words with Stella

Stella (she passed in 2022) had an extremely outgoing personality. She connected to others through her voice, usually loudly. Painfully so. I had been asking her to give one or two short barks in alert mode.

I touched her when she’s barking at something outside. Then I commiserated about the fact that the person, dog, or squirrel would not come over and say hello. We noticed some improvement in her extreme barking.

I chose to see one of her behaviors as amusing rather than irritating – she crazily barked at me when Charlie called to me for dinner. I could hear him just fine – we’re living in a townhouse, for goodness’ sake. But she was telling me, “Quit working, darn it, and go get some dinner right now!!” Because I have been known to dawdle.

Boy, I miss her!

More compassionate word work with Newt and Molly!

Guess I needed more practice using compassionate words because we’ve got two new barkers, Newt and Molly!

I’ve had to find even more patience than I had with Stella.

I explain their behavior to other people on walks. When I’m inside, I gently touch them and talk to them about what’s bugging them. I  sometimes lose my patience, but I reset my own emotions.

Because they’re worth it.

I’ve helped other people with (their animals’) annoying behaviors!

(I’m not so good with humans, sorry.)

Check out my Success Stories!