Today I’m remembering Winston Coye, my first husband, and the father of my kids, Patrick and Andrea. Winston passed 25 years ago today. Before I go into my memories, let me get the hard facts out first. Winston had a heart attack as we were getting ready for work and the kids were getting ready for grade school. They were 10 and 8. He was only 45. As you might imagine, we were devasted!
(This was posted on July 7, 2023.)
Remembering the good stuff
I met Winston at a Navy school in Memphis, Tennessee. I thought he was a smarta** and wasn’t impressed at all. But then we were stationed together in Yokosuka, Japan. That’s when I grew to enjoy his humor. That special Navy humor that is sometimes bawdy, sometimes wacky, and makes you snicker.
Winston was “hapa haole” (part White), as they say in Hawai’i. His White American father met his Japanese mother when he traveled to Japan to start a business right after World War II. I imagine it wasn’t easy growing up half American in Japan at that time. His mom got him to a Jesuit School where he learned to speak American English.
Later, he lived in Southern California for high school so that he could keep his American citizenship. He shared a few memories of “crazy Americans” with me while he lived in Newport Beach – a woman walking down the street with nothing but a sheet on (this was the early 1970’s, okay?). Was there a goat involved? Yes, the woman was walking a goat. Lucky for me, Winston enlisted in the U.S. Navy after he got out of high school.
Remembering when he met my family
Bringing him home for our wedding in Buffalo, NY, was a lesson in stereotypes. Our neighbors talked to him very slowly. And LOUDLY of course. Because that helps people who don’t speak English understand what you’re saying. He didn’t get mad.
Winston played along, speaking with a stereotypical Japanese accent with a little bit of an overbite (check out the WWII cartoons of Japanese men). Rather than get mad, he made fun of their assumptions. I think they were a bit embarrassed as they realized he was fluent in English.
Practical Joker
Another fond memory – Winston and my brother-in-law, Ray (Navy guy from Maui) used to play jokes on my mother all the time. But she still trusted them.
One time, Winston told her that the big cranes at the Naval Air Station (NAS) Alameda wharves in California were part of the Star Wars movie set. She believed him – – until we told her the truth. We all had a good laugh.
Winston and Ray got her to try eating spicy food by saying it wasn’t tooo hot. She fell for it again!! She survived, but finally learned to check with her daughters before she believed those guys.
Dedicated family man
And because of Winston, we became a happy dog family. He found two street dogs, Missy and Timmie wandering around Aiea, Hawai’i and brought them home. Missy would lie in his lap like she was his girlfriend. I called her his “little hussy” because she was definitely in love with him.
He was a great dad to our kids and loved them ferociously. He named our daughter “Andrea” just in case she wanted to be a Navy pilot – he was sure “Andy” would fit perfectly in that world. And I found out from Pat later that Winston bribed him to play soccer. Whatever, dude.
After Winston passed, I told him he wasn’t done parenting. He better watch over our kids and keep them safe and out of trouble. And he did. Even after he passed, he continued to be a good parent.
Thanks for listening!
(This was our wedding picture from 1981.)
thank you for this gift Maribeth.
Thank you, Renee!
You have such great storytelling abilities! I love how you brought Winston to life in the re-telling.
Debra, I appreciate your comment, I sure tried to bring him to life!
Maribeth, this is such a beautiful story! And what a beautiful tribute to Winston. Thank you for sharing.
Your thoughts are so appreciated, Sam!
Maribeth,
Thank you for sharing your story. I knew a bit of it; now I feel connected. I agree with Sam Lim that this is a beautiful tribute to Winston. My father died at 47; I was 11 with a younger brother and sister. I had become a “cat person” when I was young, and cats have been my comfort ever since. Grateful for your guidance in communicating with my most recent two who I very much miss.
Oh, Jane, you’ve experienced this as a kid. So hard. Cats are such good comforters! And you’re welcome, love working with you!
❤️
What wonderful memories, and a gorgeous picture! He sounds amazing.
Thanks, Judy, he was a pretty fun guy!
Such a beautiful tribute ♡.
Sending love ♡♡
Thanks so much, Carolyn!
thank you for sharing your beaautiful memories of what must have been a wonderful family life!! i feel like i got to know him a little and more of you and your life. tragedy pulls you in so many different directions. im glad you ended up with strength and peace
Wow, this is so comforting to hear, thank you!
What a beautiful picture and beautiful touching story. He sounded very special. Thank you for sharing Maribeth ❤️
The flock–Frankie, Cricket, QT, and Juice 🦜🦜🦜🦜–send love 💕, light 🕯️ , and peace 🕊️ to you and yours, Maribeth.
Oh, yeah, thanks Erin and Flock!
So good to hear, thanks Michele!
I love your Remembering Winston and healing thoughts. Thanks Maribeth for all your kind help… Looking forward to when I see you again!
Thanks for taking the time to share this, Pat!
Thank you for sharing the whole story. I had pieces and parts. It is so good to him more.
Winston is a big part of my life, even now I probably wouldn’t have the career I have if he had not had such a huge impact on the woman I’ve become. His sense of humor helped to laugh at myself; he taught me to not take myself so seriously.
Thank you for the picture of you two; I forgot how much you influenced me until I started to write this. Blessings to you and your whole,family.
Peg, thanks from the bottom of my heart for sharing this!
What a lovely picture and beautiful story. I’m sorry you lost him before his time.
Thanks, Donna, I appreciate your comment!
Wow, Maribeth, you were just a gorgeous couple; what an incredible story of your love! He was such a devoted family man and husband. I am sure he is always watching out for you and the kids from the other side. Very inspiring thanks so much for sharing!
Beverly, thanks for your lovely words!